Opportunities won, lost, and pending.

There’s few stranger animals in this world to me than the beast known as Networking. It’s becoming increasingly vital, scary levels of vital, to my continued professional existence. And that’s natural, isn’t it? Can’t dance without a partner. Or a few hundred.

But the aspect that bothers me most recently is the sheer dumb luck quota that has to be met to make this Networking business work properly. A number of people who’ve ‘made it’ (I’ll leave what that means up to you) say it’s a big chunk of why they were able to pull off what they did. Be in the right place at the right time, and oh, by the by, be completely prepared for it, or suffer the consequences. Or maybe not! Who knows!

Yeah, that’s upsetting.

I’ve only been able to make it into one professional setting where I got a job as a production assistant (No worries, no intention to name drop.), and any chances of that lucky break leading somewhere fizzled. I just didn’t click with everyone, apparently. And I could never stay for the social part of things due to lack of time and funds, so making those connections that lead to the next job just didn’t happen.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone was exceedingly kind and indulgent to the newbie. But it just didn’t take off from there.

Still, I’m glad for the experience, just as I’ve been glad for everything I’ve done so far. I learned a lot, and I’m grateful they let me help out. I just wish it could’ve led to Part Two in the Filmmaker to Be’s epic saga. Whatever that means.

So that bit of dumb luck — randomly applying to a job listing, applying, getting a job, and three nutty and exhausting days of shooting — has fallen flat. And ever since, I’ve been looking for Part Two. There were moments where I thought I’d be making my own — a documentary I wanted to make that hasn’t panned out for multiple reasons, the shot at stage managing a play I had to give up because of the commute, etc, etc — but all’s still quiet on the western front.

Now there’s this script, the one that I’ve hit a wall on already but can’t let go of, and I’ll be interested to see if that amounts to something. I may do something awful to myself in regards to the main character that’s going to require a lot of research, but more on that if/when it turns out to actually mean something.

And then I found out that my feminism teacher knows a fantastic documentary filmmaker who apparently also teaches at the school. (I’m taking his class if it shows up for next semester. I mean it.) And when she tossed out there that I should meet him, I was thrown off for reasons I can’t even explain. And I did what you’re absolutely not supposed to do in the face of dumb luck; I panicked.

“Maybe!” I squeaked, and smiled with all the anxiety someone who’s been called out on how serious they are about something can pack into a facial expression.

I don’t know why I did it. But after, I couldn’t stop kicking myself. It’s a chance to talk to an established filmmaker, to ask questions and suck up whatever knowledge was available, and I maybe’d it. I sent an e-mail to her after explaining that I didn’t want to come off that way (as if she doesn’t already think I’m strange enough), but I think if that was a test in any way, shape, or form, I still failed.

Or I’m just being paranoid.

Either way, I don’t think you get too many shots with dumb luck. Whatever it is that made me squeak like that, I need to strangle it and put it out of its misery. For both our sakes.

I think I started with Libboo’s Bounty thing and Here and Now (Come on, I had to link if I’m going to talk about it!), and I’m looking for other ways to continue it, because really, that was sad.

So help me, the gloves are coming off!


~ by Sara on November 9, 2011.

2 Responses to “Opportunities won, lost, and pending.”

  1. It’s the frustrating thing, for us Planners, that those dumb-luck moments can’t be Planned and never happen on our desired timeline… But they DO happen–keep the faith! πŸ˜‰

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